Eugene 08

Last night I watched local coverage of Eugene 08, the track and field Olympic trials. Since I was tuning in late on Sunday night, they mostly had interviews and a cool "how they do it" segment that showed how athletes compete in their sports. I laughed at my self when I paid special attention to the steeplechase part so I could pick up some tips on jumping the log in the North Canyon that lays across the trail. Somehow my 12 inch log is not the same as the 30 inch steeplechase jump.

I gget really inspired watch the TF athletes, makes me wish I had competed in high school and college. I never even gave it a second thought then. Then again one of the things I love most about running is that is non-competitive for me (just don't pass me!) Actually I don't run fast enough to not get passed and as much as I want to not run faster when it happens, I know I do.

One of the shows I watched last night was about Steve Prefontaine, the U of O runner who went to the Olympics in the 70s. He died at 23 in a car accident. He is a total local hero here and was one of the first runners to run with the Nike waffle sole shoes. He was good looking and extremely cocky. He had a huge personality which people loved. I never liked him, I never bought into the cockiness. I thought of him as sort of a jerk. This has always been one of my personal problems with people who are very good at what they do. Their confidence comes off as cockiness and I don't care for it. I guess that is the curse of being someone who is decent at a lot of things, but great at nothing.

So for my run this morning, I decided to try a different rote which I knew was longer than what I have been doing lately. It only ended up being about a mile longer, but with the high humidity it seemed a lot longer. I was soaked by the time I got home. The run went really well, though my inspiration for speed from the night before didn't last too long. I didn't have any spells during it wgich was also great.

Hot and short today

Today I went for a shorter run as it was pretty hot out (70 at 6:00!) and I didn't need too many miles to reach my weekly goal of 30 (I actually ended up at 30.5). Everything went fine as far as the ms was concerned, no spells at all. I was a little worried as I overdid it yesterday with work and was pretty fried. But 8 hrs of sleep seemed to take care of that.

I have been running with water for the last month or so. I have a single bottle belt, and not one of those ones with 4-8 little bottles. The multi-bottle belts seem like such work to fill and clean. The benefit of the weight distribution doesn't seem worth it. My single bottle, while clumsy at times, works fine. I get it centered in the small of my back and after several runs I'd hardly know it is there except for the benefit of having water. When I run with it I force myself to take periodic sips. This really helps keep me hydrated and not bloated. I find that while still running I can best take a sip right after I breathe in, then I breathe out my nose and finally swallow. I have coughed a couple of times, but with practice running and drinking gets to be relatively easy to do.

Finally catching up with the week

Well the end of my week has been really bust, but the begging started out slow. I am not sure why I haven't gotten around to writing, but I haven't until now. I have done three 8+ mile runs this week, all of which I experienced little to no spells. Now today I over did it. I didn't run a lick but copied and pasted a bunch of stuff for a large job. My brain feels like mush and I am looking forward to bed. I have a run planned tomorrow morning, first one with my running partner in weeks. My mileage plan is to keep things around 30. I only have five to go which should work out well for tomorrow and then a rest day on Sunday. This will work out perfectly as it is supposed to be 90 on Sunday.

So I have been thinking a lot about something Red said in her comment :I never knew running could be so complicated." Running is actually very simple. But I think those of us who do distance (and my 8+ miles can barely even be called "distance" comparatively) get really bored when we are running. Making running complicated gives us something to do. The trick is to keep your natural gate while making things complicated. I have found myself over thinking a technique and forcing my body to do whatever it is, not a good thing.

In addition to trying to make things interesting, I also find running to be very meditative. I just finished a book on Buddhism and the practice of zazen or meditation. The idea of zazen is to release your mind of all thought by quietly sitting still facing a wall. While one obviously can't do that running, I often find myself flushing my mind of all thought including my Ipod. I find myself loosing my thoughts in my environment, quietly watching for uplifted sidewalks and oncoming cars. It is at these times that I focus on my breathing and gate and also visualizing cotton between my joints and loosening my muscles. Many of these ideas are from Chi Running, but I also incorporate the yoga and meditation I have done throughout my life. I empty my mind (except for the part watching for dangers!) and just float along, many times feeling and experiencing the parts of my body that hurt. Many times I find the time just flying by. Keeps the boredom down.

By the way I wanted to write down my favorite running cds:
Stop Making Sense by the Talking Heads and the soundtrack to Run Lola Run. RLR has a gerat song that has hard breathing in the background that always pushes my step. SMS has a beat that is right in time with my breathing and step. I love it.

Quick start to the week

I managed to get up and head out at 6:30 this morning. It seemed cool, but the thermometer said 61. I guess I must be getting used to the heat if 61 seems chilly. I started my run out with a small spell right off the bat, but didn't have another the entire run even through my cool down. Ruthann is adamant that they don't seem to be getting any better, but I disagree. I certainly don't think the spells have gone away completely, but they are happening less and the severity is not nearly as bad. I am nor sure if dilantin is the perfect answer, but it seems to help. The question now is do I continue or switch meds. The other option is to increase the dosage AGAIN. Not sure I want to do that. I wish I knew what they did to my body. I know dilantin can affect the liver. My concern is what increasing the dosage will do as well as getting back on lipitor for cholesterol will do (if and when I do that.)

So side note. I walked to see the Happening yesterday. Being a big fan of M. Night S. I was looking forward to it, plus I really like Zooey Dechanel. I wanted to read some reviews first, but I was afraid they would reveal the traditional M. Night twist that comes at the end of all his movies. Well the movie was awful, just dreadful. And here's the twist (spoiler alert): there was no twist. What a disappointment. At least the popcorn was good.

Volcano run

This morning I left the house for my run at 7:15. It was already getting warm, so it was a good thing I got the early start. Since I got the early start and I was by myself (I never connected with my running partner) I decided to do my favorite run, Mt. Tabor. I usually do this by myself cause it is long. I also love it up there and the peacefulness of the solitude is wonderful. Mt Tabor is an inactive volcano, apparently the only volcano within the city limits of a major city, and is just over 2 miles from my house. Once I am at the park, I have a five mile trail I run, that winds around the caldera of the volcano (now capped with a basketball court), up the mountain to a 3/4 mile circle around the top, then down the back and around one of the several reservoirs on the mountain. I love it there, it is also very shady and cool on the trails which makes fr a great run any time of year (even during the wet seasons, the trails stay much pretty mud-free. The hardest part of the run is not the hill climbing (of which there is a lot) but the last 2+ miles home. Coming off the mountain it always seems extra hot and I haven't found a good shady route back. But it is totally worth it.

I ran over 34 miles this week, which was more than I really should have. This week I probably should have only done 30 (according to limiting increases rules) so I figure I'll shoot fpr that next week. Plus my watch seems to give me more miles than I actually run (I think my Tabor clocked at 8.5 last year on my Ipod, this time 9.3). But I can handle having the extra miles especially if I am not really running them!

BTW I took my rebif last night and seemed to only have a few shadow spells; one at the start and several during the last mile. I also didn't take any ibuprofen before I ran. My leg muscles did feel a little achey while running and that was probably some light flu-like symptoms, or it could very well be the result of the amount of running I have been doing. I also read a post about joint pain and rebif. I am trying to spot it, but also be highly aware that I am exercising. My right knee has been occasionally achey while running, I am doing some pain-free Chi-running visualization where all my pounding joints have cotton in them absorbing the beating.

Rest day

Today was one of the all important rest days. I really feel like I need it. Today the spells seem to be rather strong, even Ruthann said something. While I know I have been pushing it in terms of how many miles I am doing, I think that is ok. The exertion may be exaggerating some of the symptoms (ie more spells) I am hoping that I see a decrease in the fatigue and spells as I keep up the pace. We'll see, I may have a definite cap on the amount of energy I can put into running, but I am not going to just accept that. I will learn that though and if that is the deal, then that's the deal.

I saw Terri Garr on David Letterman last night, she looks like she is having trouble with her ms. She also had an annurism last year and I think that was a lot of the cause of her troubles moving. Then again it could just be ms. She was in very good spirits, almost too good like she was trying too hard to show everything is ok. I'll have to watch for that. Also be wary of the dumb ms jokes.

shadow spells

No, its not some sort of Harry Potter thing. When I first was diagnosed with ms I referred to me seizures as spells. I am not sure why I went back to calling them seizures. Spells was such a cooler word, sounded very Victorian to me. Maybe something I would take Mercury to cure, possibly a blood letting would help. So I want to go back to that word, especially since I thought of a new use of it today.

On my run this morning, I had several really small spells. It was sort of going back to an old regularity in a way, the pattern where I would have one at the start and then several more around 6 miles into it and afterwards. The only difference is that these were really slight. I felt them, but they barely seemed to affect me, at least my movement anyway. In fact I was able to just run through them with no problems. Also, it wasn't like before where it was difficult to do, I just kept on running. Anyway, the phrase I thought of (you might have guessed if you read the title of this entry) is "shadow spells". I got a creepy kick out of it this morning.

On another note, this was my third eight mile day in a row. I was really feeling it towards the end. Pooped. But it was a beautiful morning, nice and cool. For the first part of the run I even found myself running in the sun to warm up. Toward the end it (and myself) was getting to hot to do that and I found myself looking for shade.

Seizure free 8.6 mile run

This morning I struggled to get up. My alarm even had to wake me, usually I have been getting up before the 6 AM bell tolls, but no summer sunrise could do it this morning. I had to rely on FOX radio telling me the war is going great to do it (I have my radio on FOX cause Blazer games get broadcasted though it is way past time to change that this year.)

I had taken my rebif last night, no reactions and relatively pain free. I awoke with some flu-like symptoms and headed for the medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen. My mom planted the seed that I shouldn't take it without eating something. Even though I have neevr done this in the past, I am sure her advice is not only true, but would cause me to have troubles the first time I went against it. So I grabbed my coffee, a raspberry emergen-C and a cliff bar (for the ibuprofen and some energy).

My abductor on my right thigh wasn't bothering me at all. I don't know if it was the rest and ice I have been giving it over the last 6 days or if it was indeed a reaction to a rebif injection. Perhaps I stuck myself in a muscle instead of fat. Either way I will take the thigh feeling better.

I wasn't sure how far I would go, I thought I would see how my leg was doing. Turned out to be pain free for the entire run, so I decided I would do the full 8.6. Hopefully the ibuprofen wasn't making me falsely confident and pain free. I did notice so issue with my hamstrings on my left leg (the other side) as well as some slight pain around the left kneecap. When I started out I decided to focus on my footstrike. I follow Chi Running by Dan Dreyer for most of my running form. Well as often happens I get into a run and start thinking about other things, so I loose my focus. Many of the ideas behind Chi Running become second nature the more you follow them, but occasionally I have found a need to re-focus in order to reestablish good habits. This need often raises its hand after injury to get me back into proper stride. So, back to the knee. As soon as I felt the problem I refocused on my Chi footstrike and the pain went away. Many time good running form can be totally over-rated and you should instead do what comes naturally rather than try to force yourself into a new pattern. Chi running and Danny's concepts fit really well into my running, so I have adopted most of them. I also employ a leg style that incorporates a short leg lift in order to conserve energy as well as a forward lean for free speed. I can't remember where I read about that, but it worked for me.

So my run was seizure free for the entire thing. It was also really cool out this morning, so that may have had something to do with things. Whatever, it was a great run. I hope to be able to get out tomorrow morning, but I know I need to be back early as Ruthann is taking one of our bedgies to the vet. Poor guy hasn't been feeling well.

Abductor injury

I haven't been running since Wednesday as I have a new (for me) running injury, at least I think it is a running injury. I appear to have pulled my abductor muscle on my right side. The abductor is the large muscle on the inside of your thigh. I say "appear" as this is the same area I had just done my injection in which hurt to do, so maybe I got it in the muscle? I have been resting it since last week and not running. I have also iced it a little. It feels a lot better, but if it is injection related, then maybe that is healing. Either way I think I will try running tomorrow. I should do a short run but I bet I will try to push it. We'll see.

I had a real site reaction on Friday where the injection site swelled up and hurt for about an hour. It wasn't that big of a deal. It seems a bit odd to me that so much attention is given to site reactions. I guess it is because it is weird and unexpected and might scare someone. The reality of it (at least for me) is that it wasn't a big deal.

Return of the Seizures

Could be a good name for a 50s horror movie or a late eighties punk band. But alas it is the title of today's blog entry. It is actually not as horrible as it sounds. I certainly didn't think I was cured or anything. A couple of days symptom free is better than nothing. And today wasn't all that bad either. The seizures were there occasionally but they were pretty mild.

I dosed rebif last night, did it in the front of my leg which seems to hurt a bit more than other places (thought two days ago I hardly felt anything, mayne I got a fatty spot then.) I went out on my morning run today and made it a half mile when I got my first seizure, string broken! I only had two more, so it wasn't bad at all. I added on a few extra blocks and totaled out at 8.4 miles. I was a little run down when I was done, which was a bit of a disappointment.

I got the results of my blood test and the dilantin levels were still a bit low, so I going up to 4 on even number days and 5 on odd numbered days. I am never going to remember this, but I will give it a shot. I could split the pills I supposed. I take the gelatin cap off anyway on my pills, trying to be a good vegetarian,. Oddly the pill is a solid tablet inside the gel cap. I think they must cap them cause the med tastes terrible. I couldn't find any other reason for not removing them in my internet search, Maybe someone out there knows something I don't about it.

I have a friend coming into town this weekend and I hope I can get another long run in. I won't be going out tomorrow either.

rebib run

Yesterday, I ran again in the morning after taking my rebif dose, I am up to a full dose now. I woke up feeling a little sore, both from all the gardening I did the day before and some lite flu-like symptoms. So I ate half of a Clif bar like I normally do before my morning runs and took a couple ibuprofen (which apparently you should only do if you have eaten a little, so I am sure the Clif bar helped in more ways than one.) I urned on Silversun Pikup on my Ipod and headed down the street. Over 52nd I have been getting that first seizure usually, but I glided through without anything coming on. The next time I thought about it, I had was going through Sherman Park and hitting mile two without any seizures. At mile four I decided I would do a full run of 8+ miles, I had been waiting to determine if my body could deal with the distance and my soreness, it could. At 5.5 miles I found hitting my usual threshold for the seizures reoccurring without having a single one yet, I headed on to reed college and the Canyon. I felt myself warming up, so I removed my rain jacket. The Canyon was gorgeous in the cool morning and I trotted along admiring all the vegetation, still no seizures. Before I knew it I was at the stairs to leave the Canyon, they always come up so quickly signaling the end of my run. When I was training for the Portland marathon I would run them, lately I walked them, today I again ran them but walked the last block and a half up the inclined street. At 39th I continued my run for the final mile. When I found myself at our gate, I had made it the entire way without any seizures, I even made it through my cool down.

I am not sure if it is the dilantin finally kicking in, the rebif doing its job r just the natural progression of my ms, but I will take it. It was great being seizure free yesterday. I still found myself paranoid in the few situations I had that I needed to talk to someone, but everything turned out great. This was the second run I had seizure free and I am seeing a definite lessening of their occurrences. Finally! Now I just hope it continues. I don't need to be perfect, but the less the better.

No run for me today

Today I am going to turn our garden, so I figure I should conserve as much energy as possible for that. As much as I would love to run today as the weather is my kind of running weather, cool and possible rain. Fortunately it is also good (for me) working in the garden weather. Yesterday I pulled so weeds out there and I noticed that I was getting some head rushes as I stretched to reach some far away from the edge of the bed weeds, reminded me of the seizures but I don't think they were related. I have experienced these a lot in my pre-ms life (or is it?) especially when bending over and exerting myself. I really think it is another of those life-is-normal things that mirrors ms symptoms. Seems like there are so many of those as I try to look at my body and understand what is going on.

So my future running plan is to get up early tomorrow (hopefully I won't be too sore from the gardening) and head out for 6-8 miles. We'll see if I really do it.

Nice relaxing run in the heat

It was a rare warm day here in our Portland spring. I went for a run with a friend who is just getting back into it. We went down to the canyon and ran both sides. We have been planning on doing this for awhile now. She and I both looked forward to doing the run with Ewan her Gordon Retriever. Two weeks ago Ewan was diagnosed with bone cancer and died last week. Despite the somber air surrounding our run we had a nice time. Amy and I used to work together and I have missed hanging out with her. Partially because of the heat and partially due to Amy getting back into running we cut our run off at 3.5 miles and walked the rest. I didn't have a seizure the entire run.

26.6 mi this week.

full dose rebif (44)

Last night I took my first full dose of rebif. The shot stung more than the others even though it is the same amount of liquid as the 22 dose (apparently they use some sort of filler for the lesser doses.) I laid down after taking it and felt a little dizzy, sort of like when I took my first quarter dose, (maybe it is in my head?) I woke up this morning feeling sort of out of it. Not really the flu-like symptoms (I took my ibuprofen) but more like sort of dizzy, almost like I was having a sinus attack or something. So I added a claratin to the cocktail and another couple of ibuprofen before I went on my run.

The run went really well this morning. I didn't have my usual seizure at the start, it didn't come until 1.5 miles into it. Then I only had two more, at 4 mi and 6 mi. Even my cool down was seizure free, although I did experience a couple of head rushes doing my side stretches (that has been normal since I have been doing them (since college when Danny Gonzalez told me I could lose my stomach if I just did side stretches. I didn't lose the stomach, but the stretches are good. More on them later.) Overall by 7.8 mi run was pretty fas too. On my long straight stretch near Reed there was a woman running in front of me about a block ahead. In the mile or so that I followed her, I caught up to her and edged her out (she had crossed to the other side of the street, so I didn't come up behind her or anything.)

The other nice thing about this morning is that I had a nice light rain, my favorite running weather. The canyon wasn't too muddy, although the foot bridges across the marsh were a little slippery despite them being non-skid. Actually it is the plant matter that falls on the bridges that gets slippery. Anyway, a great run.

cooling down on my morning run

I had a great run this morning, seems like I am getting back to my normal pattern of seizures. I can't believe that is a good thing! Apparently missing one dose of dilantin really through my system for a loop. My neurologist wants to check the dilantin levels in my blood, so I go back for another blood letting next week, this time I am going to make sure they do the cholesterol test for my GP. Anyway, my neurologist says we may want to increase to dose of dilantin or move me to another anti-seizure med. I am willing to give dilantin another chance with a change in dose or perhaps change in pattern of taking in. It does seem to help the seizures, but it certainly hasn't gotten rid of them which is my main goal right now as far as the ms symptoms go.

So my morning run, I went for over 8 miles and had a small, small seizure at 4.5. I say small, small cause it was almost like it didn't happen. I was thinking about when they would come on and then it hit. Did I manage to bring it on myself? Do I have them and not realize it at times? Lots of questions. I wish I knew more about it. My neurologist says their is a rare form of ms symptoms that come on in waves like mine. It is definitely not the norm. I just hope they go away soon either under dilantin or just through the normal course or relapsing/remitting ms.

So, as promised, cooling down. I usually run with a bandanna on to keep the sweat out of my eyes and bald head. After 6 miles I decided to remove it to see if the cool air would cool down my body and to see if that would have any effect on the seizures. It did seem to help them, I still had them but they were further apart then when I was wearing it and keeping the cool air from my pate. Something to try again. I also often wear a running hat, so I'll try removing that as well. My hat is black, so perhaps it is time to replace it with a lite colored one. Ah yes, another excuse to buy more running gear...

Good run in the rain

So last night I took my rebif, still at 22mg (one more to go before I hit the 44mg max). Everything went fine with the injection, it is funny folks seem so worried about the injection reaction and I have experienced none of it. I am sure it affects people differently like everything ms does. This time I took it in the back upper buttock and managed to get it in the right spot dfor a change, I had been doing it lower than I should.

I went for a run this morning and it went really well. It rained and I love the rain. I have always loved running in the rain; soggy shoes, puddle dancing and all. It struck me today that running in the rain is perfect for ms mostly because you keep nice and cool. To me the rain is also very therapeutic, the sound of the rain drops on the trees is very relaxing. I love the dark cast by the rainclouds and the mist that rises especially in the warm summers, winters choice is to bring fog.

There are some things to watch out for. On long runs wet shoes and socks can bring on blisters. I recommend bringing a spare pair of socks and changing then out at some point. If you are doing a wet marathon it might be good to have someone meet you with a dry pair of shoes along with the socks to get you through. Some folks will wear rain booties over the tops of their shoes, they are sort of like a mini tarp, with the bottom open. I have never tried them, it seems like your feet might overheat (I could be wrong), but they will keep your feet dry from the rain (won't do anything for the puddles.)

Puddles can be a problem especially if you run on roads. Our roads in Portland aren't in the greatest of shape due to the environment and budget/tax cuts. With out rain we get a lot of puddles. Usually you can find a relatively dry path through them. It sort of adds a fun extra challenge to make it through your run without getting soaked by running through a deep puddle. Puddles often get to be a problem on street corners as our sewer drains get clogged up with leaves and debris. Fortunately their are a lot of good citizens willing to rake the tops of the drains free of stuff so that the water can flow.

Another consideration is your shoes. One of my favorite shoes when I was wearing motion control shoes was Aisics Gel-Kayano. They felt great and kept my feet from over pronating. They were worth extra cost with one big exception (in wet weather climates) the traction on them was terrible in the rain. I would experience some slippage with my toe-off that I felt was unacceptable. Still I like the shoe enough to keep running in them. Now I am using a neutral running shoe, the Mizuno Wave Rider 10 and they are much better in the wet, no slipping at all and great traction. I took a corner turning into a park today with no troubles. Plus the Wave riders are a lot cheaper.

ha ha, crazy man running

Ran my whole run this morning with my shorts inside out.

Maybe thats the secret to a good run. After my crappy run yesterday today' went pretty well. I took my dilantin last night but I still had the seizures throughout my run. They weren't nearly as strong and I was able to run through many of them which I decided was a bad idea. Instead slowing down to a walk seems to be the thing to do. When I get the seizures, my let leg seems to loose strength. I sort of flop my foot as I deal with the uncordination. I was able to keep running in many cases with just a floppy sort of gait. I think this may be bad for my legs and joints. So slowing to a walk for a few steps (3-5 steps) seems a much better solution.

Running through our park today their was a girls softball tourney going on. As I left the park a van pulled up and some girls got out with their mothers. Of course a seizure comes on. So I have to slow to a walk right in front of them, I hope no one thought anything weird was going on...

27.4 miles for the week, longest in awhile.